Who are you, and where are you going?
For approximately a decade, I knew exactly who I was and where my destination was. I was the leader of a gang of misfits, taking on the impossible challenge of making waves in the music industry. I convinced myself and my friends to set aside everything else and prioritize our music career. We abandoned our homes to live in tight spaces on small budgets in perilous environments. We experienced thunderstorms, encountered pirates, faced darkness, and even confronted death, all within our makeshift family. Catastrophe brought us together and bonded us in a way that only trauma can. Small wins here and there kept us going. For years, we just barely stayed afloat. But somewhere amidst all the disappointments, annoyances, inconveniences, preferences, poverty, and a pandemic, we became different people with different destinations.
Our unsinkable vessel hit an immovable iceberg, and like any self-respecting captain, I went down with the ship…
…but not before Ben Chai jumped on a life raft and dragged me aboard. Ben took on all the responsibilities and duties of crew and captain, and for over a year, I sat on the edge of the raft debating whether I should jump off. After all, what good is a captain without his ship? More than I want to admit, I was bitter that it wasn't over. I was angry at my brother, who pulled me from the wreckage, and was now forced to accept that I allowed my ship to sink. I wasn't prepared to lead anyone or anything anymore. I was barely qualified to take care of my own basic needs. I prepared to move to Seattle and finally let go of my LA dreams for the band. After all, everyone else left years before. It was time to relearn how to live.
I gave Ben my resignation, but instead of taking me seriously, he pointed our raft into an oncoming wave. Instead of capsizing, we were surfing. Clara climbed on board, and we flew even faster as the wave tripled in size. A viral TikTok video, successful tours, and Season 2 of "Will Play for Food" kept me hanging on for dear life.
I'm now sailing on a ship I didn't build, with a team I don't deserve, and somehow failing my way into a music career more successfully than ever before. Don't get me wrong; it's thrilling to be along for the ride, but don't call me captain. Ben has more than earned that title.
So, who am I?
I guess I'm still figuring that out. There's no denying that I'm still a mess, but I'm cleaning up. I'm certainly a songwriter, and I can't escape that. I'm a storyteller by nature, but aren't we all? I'm an entertainer for better or worse. I'm an optimist who finally learned that not all things work out the way I hoped. I'm a people-pleaser learning how to say no. I'm an extrovert who's learning I don't need to be around people every second. And like everyone in Seattle, I now see how the rain makes the sunny days all the more beautiful.
Where am I going?
I guess I'm not sure that matters to me like it used to. I just know that I like sailing. I'm chasing the wind, and I'm doing my best to be thankful for the opportunity. I know this boat is fragile, and the waters are unpredictable. Even so, with Ben steering the ship, Clara maintaining the sails, and me on water-bailing duty, we're heading straight for the hurricane. We might just land on golden shores, or we might sink along the way, but I'm going where my team goes.
Thank you all for keeping us afloat and believing in us all the while. You are more vital than you know.
Jon Andrew Franklin